Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
