Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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