pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
