You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
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