My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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