I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
