Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
