she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
