I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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