Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Randomize
