I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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