Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
