someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
did you just send me my own nude
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
