So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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