Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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