The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
