Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
