even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Randomize
