Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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