I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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