By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
