I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
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