The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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