I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
