I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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