I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
