dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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