is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
