i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
