Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Success! We fucked roommates!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
