im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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