apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
