she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
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