I just cut my nipple shaving
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
