Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
im six kinds of drunk right now
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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