Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
