It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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