I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
