i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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