Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
