You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
