just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
