my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
