I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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