My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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