I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
