Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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