Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize