When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
