My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
