they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
