im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
