tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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