"it" just moved
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
