is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
