McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
