franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize