I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
