Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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