I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
