i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I smell like Dick and happiness
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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