he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
