Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
