Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
