Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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