Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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