Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I was not drunk enough for that final.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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