A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
