Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize