dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
