Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
