You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
