So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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