I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
The air taste purple.
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