I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
