Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
