I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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