This girl is more easily done than said...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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