ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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