Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
