that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
