put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
