isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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